Hijacked by Emotion: What Really Happens When You ‘Lose It’

Have you ever snapped in the middle of a conversation, only to regret it seconds later? Or maybe you’ve panicked during a test, felt your hands sweat, and completely forgot everything you studied? That’s not just stress—that’s your brain being hijacked.

In Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman introduces a concept called the amygdala hijack, which is when the emotional brain (specifically, the amygdala) overrides your rational brain (the neocortex) before you even realize it’s happening.

“The hijacking occurs in an instant, triggering this reaction crucial moments before the neocortex, the thinking brain, has had a chance to glimpse fully what is happening… The hallmark of such a hijack is that once the moment passes, those so possessed have the sense of not knowing what came over them."

It’s like your feelings slam the emergency button before logic even gets to read the situation. And suddenly, you’re crying, yelling, shutting down, or sending that one text you wish you could unsend. Some real world scenarios of hijacking could be road rage when someone cuts you off, text anxiety that causes your memory to blank, texting fights making emotion cloud clarity, or more emotional responses like blushing, shaking, or shutting down when publicly called out.

These responses are fast, unconscious, and often feel automatic. But here’s the good news—you can train your brain to slow down before the hijack takes over. Now, how can we defuse an amygdala hijack? Well, the first step is to identify what you are feeling. Putting a name to it—saying “I’m overwhelmed”—activates your rational brain.

Pausing for 6 seconds can also help immensely as that’s how long it takes for the amygdala’s alarm to cool off. Remember to always breathe deeply. Even 3 deep breaths helps reroute energy back to the prefrontal cortex. Continue to ask yourself, “Is this a threat or a trigger?” Your brain doesn’t always know the difference, but you can teach it. Lastly, decompress before reacting. If you can step back—even for a minute—you’re winning.

Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you never feel overwhelmed. It means you learn to notice when you’re about to be hijacked, and gently take back the wheel. You’re not weak for having emotional reactions—you’re human. But learning to navigate them? That’s power.

Source: Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books, 1995